Night On The Town Before Lockdown...

Hello people :)

So, I just want to briefly tell you about my weekend. Friday and Saturday were my official "final outings" until my MCAT exam. I know you must have Googled it already, but for those that don't know, the MCAT is the medical college admission test which is given in the U.S. and Canada and required for admission to medical school. It's a big, life-changing exam and I am really nervous about it, BUT.... I decided to forget about it for a couple hours and enjoy 2 nights out with friends.

The first night was a dinner with friends. I had on this beautiful black, printed sheath dress with a black ribbon cuff and my favorite pearls. I also accomplished a great smokey-eye look with my eyeshadow. For a while, I had been confused as to how to translate my daytime make-up to a nighttime look and finally realized that it was through the drama of eye make-up. Anyway... I looked H-O-T!! I was, per usual, fashionably late to the dinner and when greeting my friends, I didn't even notice exactly who was all there until I sat down. Sitting diagonally to me at the table was a fine, fine piece of man candy; he is a BEAUTIFUL man!! Think Tyson Beckford body, Morris Chestnut skin and voice, with just an awesome face... Mmm... too bad he wasn't on the menu!! Anyway, I could feel him staring at me throughout the night and I was definitely pleased with myself as because I know I looked GREAT. He and I had gone out on a date with the year prior and I knew what he was thinking: Damn, I should have asked her out on a second date!

Sorry, boo. You had your chance :)

At the end of the dinner, he said he had "parked far" and asked for a ride to his car; I obliged. He started talking about "how busy" he had been, basically trying to explain away the last 12 months he spent not calling me. I just "Uh-huh"ed everything he said and reassured him I had been equally as busy. I love it when you see someone after a long time and you can feel the regret they have about not keeping in touch with you. Even though he is handsomely delicious, I would never give him the honor of another date with me—I don't care how chocolaty he is!!

I drove home, smiling to myself, happy to have the last laugh.

The next night was another party for a friend. This was going to be a bigger event at a banquet hall. I knew a lot of people from the Nigerian community would be there, so I wanted to show up and show out!! I wore this emerald colored dress with jewels bordering the neckline and bodice with my requisite pearls and an adorable brocade clutch. I had actually did a test run of my make-up in between studying earlier in the day, so I knew exactly what to do with my eyes. I had a special incentive to go to this party because I wanted to see a friend whom I hadn't spoken to in some time. He and I kind of have a thing for each other, but we've never been really serious (or public) about it. It's funny because the first time he ever mentioned interest in me was once when I was crying to him about the feelings I still had for my female ex- Y, he said he "thought I was over women and would finely give him a chance". I was very surprised, but not much (aside from a few make out sessions) ever came from it. After that, he started seeing someone and that was that...

Anyway, I was looking to try and re-ignite some of the feelings from before since I heard he was no longer dating. He was the host and he was running around the entire night. Every time I tried to catch him, we could only speak for a moment. I never got a chance to pull him aside and really chat him up. I stayed until the very end of the party and in a last ditch attempt to get his attention, I asked him to walk me to my car. At that exact moment, a good friend of both of ours (I guess noticing how tired he was along with being oblivious to my intentions) offered me a ride to my car instead. At that point, if I continued to insist he walk me to my car, it might arouse suspicion, so I accepted the ride and kissed my chance at some action goodbye... until next time...

The night wasn't a total loss; I had a great time, caught up with friends... as well as some non-friends and tons of people saw me looking FAB and would undoubtedly go tell others... LOL. I felt good.

Now it's back to studying as usual. I cannot wait to take this exam. I'm thinking of planning a celebratory trip somewhere... I don't know where yet, but I will keep you posted!!

We still have more to catch up on, so stay tuned!!

♥ TisbA

SoOoOo... It's been awhile....

OMG, guys!!! I am SO sorry to have left you all. I have been oh-so-busy studying ferociously for my MCAT. My test prep course just wrapped up and I am counting down the weeks until the end of MCAT Season.

I have SO many stories and updates for you all!!! I don't have time to get into all of it right now, but upcoming posts will fill you all in on all the stuff that's happened to me in the past 2-½ months... lots of changes, good and not so good, but right now I am feeling pretty great :)

One thing I will share with you is that since my last post, I have lost 5.8kg!!! That's almost 13 POUNDS!!! Ugh, I am beyond thrilled.

But I do miss you all; I miss blogging and sharing my feelings, I just need to tackle this MCAT and then we shall be together again!!! Until then...

Always,
TisbA ♥

I need a Bahamavention...

...in other words: a vacation.

I went to Europe with my family last summer and I have to say that I truly enjoyed myself (especially since it was on my parents' dime!), but that was almost a year ago and I really want to do something again.

My semester is finally over (woo-hoo!) but my MCAT class starts in a few weeks (boo!). I was talking with my friend about to going to Atlantic City for a weekend to gamble and hit up clubs--I'd much rather go some place warm though! I want to sit on a beach, with a drink in my hand, and a masseuse at my back... I just want to RELAX.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to plan trips on my own; the only trip I've ever been on with friends was to Atlanta last year for Greek Picnic (I'm in an NPHC sorority) and that was a BLAST!!! It was only 2½ days, but I had SO much fun!! Greek Picnic is every June, but it's out of the question this year since I'll be taking that MCAT course (boo! (again))

I need to do something this summer or I will go crazy. SOMETHING.

Any suggestions?? I'd like to stay on the Atlantic coast, but I have a passport, so I can go out of the country. Let me know!!

Toodles...

♥

You can't please everyone.....

...... especially not my father.

I just had a huge fight with him tonight. I mean, we were really, really yelling at each other. I don't like disrespecting my parents, but I'm really bad at biting my tongue and staying quiet when I feel like I should be defending myself. It all started when he, while asking my brother about why he missed church, mentioned how neither of us had "any type of clear career path". Me? The same "me" who has a degree from a tier 1 university? The same "me" who has worked up from intern to coordinator at my current organization in less than a year? The same "me" who has been gainfully employed since graduating and is actively applying to medical school??? Comparing me to my brother; who has yet to finish his undergrad degree, get a job, or pay for anything he owns himself at 27; is quite laughable and downright ridiculous.

My dad does this a lot. He makes me feel bad about not going to medical school right after graduation (in 2006). What makes it worse is that I changed my major half-way into undergrad and went from physiology/neurobiology to public health (which was tantamount to me saying "mom and dad, I'm dropping out of college and, by the way, I'm pregnant"). He told me tonight that my life "was over" (at 26, right?) and that I was "Going nowhere" as my peers "lapped me in achievement" and that at 26 I "have nothing to show for it". He then proceeded to name the numerous cousins and children of family friends who had either started or finished residency and who were now either getting married or buying homes. FYI: If a Nigerian woman is over 27 and not in residency, PhD candidacy, or married, she is a failure. Ask anybody (Nigerian). I have one year left before I become part of the dregs of society.

I did mention I'm Nigerian, right? If you know anything about Nigerians, or foreign parents in general, you'll know that they have very high standards regarding education. For me and my cousins as well as Nigerian/Indian/Chinese/foreign friends, we all know that if you're not a doctor, engineer, or pharmacist, you might as well go kill yourself right now because you are all but worthless in our communities. Of course I don't agree with this; not every single Nigerian I know is an MD, PharmD, or PhD, but there are quite a few; I'd say about 60% of my friends. Oh, did I mention both my parents are also surgeons?? Yeah, so there's no "do your best, honey" because my best has to be better than their best... at least that's how they measure success.

Now, I know I haven't taken a direct path to medical school, but damn it, I'm trying! I'm working hard finishing pre-reqs and I am trying. It's very difficult for me to see my peers graduating pharmacy school and medical school, heading off to residency and not feel left behind. I'm going to be 27 soon, damn near 30 and I feel unaccomplished. I want to be on par with those around me.

I'm not pursing medical school just to please my parents, as so many people think and freely suggest as the reason why I say I want to be a doctor (I fucking hate that). I seriously feel that there is no way I'll be happy or fulfilled with my life unless I'm a physician. I love science and medicine. I read medical journals for fun. I love learning about rare diseases and I get a thrill when I identify diseases before doctors do on TLC's "Mystery Diagnosis" series. I want the opportunity at that one-on-one interaction with a patient. I see the way my parents are with their patients and I admire it greatly. Plus, I've always wanted to be able to say, "trust me; I'm a doctor..." ☺

I took a practice MCAT yesterday with Princeton Review and I finally decided to take the July exam after putting it off for so many years. I admit it: I've been afraid of applying to medical school; I have been afraid of what would happen if I didn't get in. What would my parents say? What would my friends say? A lot of people expect me to be a doctor, especially because my parents are doctors (why could they be bus drivers or garbage collectors? not that there's anything wrong with that, but damn, I wouldn't have to aim so high).

I know I'm not exactly a dinosaur, but can't help but feel old (by African standards) when I look at people my age and see what they are up to compared to myself. Nevertheless, I still find encouragement in others pursuing the same career path as me and some who are doing it later in life. I know all is not lost; I can still do it.

I'll let you all know how it goes...

♥ TisbA