So.... I was doing very well today; oatmeal (~115 cal) for breakfast and Nigerian vegetable soup (an oh-so-worth-it 350 cal) for lunch. I was really looking forward to rewarding myself with a hummus and spinach sandwich (~140 cal) and Fiber One® bar (140 cal) this evening... until I agreed to go to Costco for my mom.
First of all, Costco is ALWAYS busy, regardless of the time of day or day of the week. The sparling warehouse is always jam-packed with shopping carts, flatbed trolleys, and the inevitable lost child. Secondly, if you were to try and get a feel for how the U.S. economy is doing based upon what people are buying, observing shoppers at Costco would make you say "what recession??" Between people buying up 128 oz. bottles of mustard and 24-pack MagLite® flashlights, I'd say we're in an economic boom...
Anyway, I wasn't at all worried or evening thinking about how dangerous Costco really is until I was 10 feet into the front entrance. There they were: SAMPLES.
"But it's a Wednesday!!" I thought... "Sample days are only on the weekends!! Oh jeez..." You see, as a kid, me and my siblings would love going to Costco only because we could stuff our faces with free puff pastries and complimentary spoonfuls of peach cobbler and whatever else they had to offer. It wasn't until I accepted a 1 oz. Dixie cup of Craisins® and ate half (~25 cal), that more and more sampling stations began to appear. There was mini peanut brittle (~40 cal), salmon spread on a cracker (~70 cal), Tostitos® and salsa (~20 cal)... I had them all.
It wasn't until I was downing a sample of a chicken taquito (~37 cal) that I finally stopped myself. What was I doing??? I had done so well up until this point. These "free" samples had cost me nearly 200 calories. What a waste. You know how they say never go grocery shopping when you're hungry?? Yeah, never do that because you'll simply eat every single you see. I'm totally not eating anything else today...
UPDATE: So I wrote this entry while still at my mom's office, saved it as a draft, then went home and obliterated my CR regimen. Upon getting into the house, I had a little Shredded Wheat cereal... then a little more, then a yogurt, then more Nigerian vegetable soup... I SUCK. I kept eating, though, because I decided that I was going to go throw it up. I hate to do this and I don't do it often but I was starting to feel panicky, so I thought it was the best way to relieve my anxiety.
I usually wait 40-60 minutes before I do it, so as I'm busying myself preparing for my day tomorrow (today), I notice about an hour and a half has gone by since I ate. It was after midnight; I was too late. If it was any other day, I would have just tried to anyway. But today (Feb. 4th) is a "special" day for me and on these "special" days, I refrain from doing things which in my own mind might be "bad" things (things like having sex or Christmas day or other restrictions I put on myself... I'm weird, remember?) Anyway, I chucked the day up as an L and sought to do better in the morning.
I'm very pleased to say that I did much, MUCH better today and I think I've made up for much of the damage from the day before. I was 1.2kgs less yesterday morning before my binge; I weighed less this morning post-binge, but only 0.4kgs... at least I didn't gain!!! Phew!!
I always try to remember (and those of you reading should, too) that all is not lost if I "mess up". I easily could have kept the feast going into today, but I didn't. I'm happy with how I did today... I might have earned a that Fiber One® bar after all!!!