Thank you to Sairs and skinnythin who offered advice and kind words on my previous posts. Every now and then, I get depressed and just plain sad. It doesn't help that my body isn't how I want it to be and I tend to blame my appearance for all my problems: why he/she doesn't like me, why I'm single, why I didn't go to that event, why I just wasn't confident enough to do anything.
It is all a process. I just have to take things one day at a time. I'm not going to fast anymore until Lent when I know I can do it. I'm also going to stop obsessing about Y because I know she and N will break up again eventually (yeah, I know that's not a great thing to hope for, but it's the way I'm dealing with that for now)
I will not be alone. I am not ugly; I am beautiful. I am smart. I will lose weight. I will be OK.